8 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes By Comedians
via huffingtonpost.com
Jim
Gaffigan: "Thanksgiving.
It's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we
overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that
every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'"
Stephen
Colbert:
"Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country
join together to raise America's obesity statistics. Personally, I love
Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the
magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her
car."
Kevin
James:
"Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants."
Jack
Handey: "If
you're at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the
cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it, but
instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later,
when you're out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and
throw the ball to the ground. Then say, 'Boy, these are good cigars!'"
Jay
Leno: "You can
tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe
out."
Johnny
Carson:
"Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to
be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way
too often."
George
Carlin: "We're
having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a
turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing."huffingtonpost.com/thanksgivingcomedians
